Scary Movie 5 is a 2013 American science fiction horror comedy parody film, which parodies the horror, sci-fi, and mystery genres, directed by David Zucker. It is the third film of the Scary Movie franchise, as well as the first to have no involvement from the Wayans family.
Plot[]
Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan get together to make a sex tape with over 20 cameras in his room. They do all sorts of bedroom antics, including gymnastics, riding a horse, and having clowns jump in. Sheen is pulled into the air by a paranormal force and thrown against walls, shelves, and doors until he lands on the bed again. Frightened, Lohan decides to go home when she also flies into the air; becoming possessed she throws Sheen into the camera, killing him. The text explains that Sheen's body was found that day but he did not stop partying until days later and that his three children were found missing, Lohan was arrested, again, and a reward was put out for the missing kids.
Several months later, Ja'Marcus and D'Andre are walking in the Humboldt County woods in California, searching for cannabis to steal. Afterwards, they hide in a cabin in the woods. Inside, they see three strange creatures, later confirmed to be Sheen's children, and turn them in for the reward. The feral children are placed in isolation at a child development research center for a few months until they are deemed well enough to be returned to familial custody.
Sheen's brother Dan Sanders and his wife Jody come for them. They can only have them if they agree to stay in a large suburban middle-class home fitted with security cameras. She is reluctant to take them at first but soon adapts. In an attempt to bond with their new children, Jody auditions for a ballet performance, Swan Lake, and is given the lead, the Swan Queen.
Meanwhile, a continuing pattern of bizarre paranormal activity in their new home makes them investigate further. They eventually learn from the children that the attacks on their home are by "Mama", their mother, who is under a curse and wants them back to sacrifice both herself and the children. Maria, the Hispanic live-in maid and housekeeper, is frightened and keeps trying various rituals, Catholic and otherwise, to ward off the evil spirits in the house.
During the day, Dan is frustrated with the modest progress of his test subjects at a primate intelligence research facility; ironically, he is not bright enough to realize that one of the chimpanzees, Caesar, is now actually much smarter than he is. One night, the pool drain invites others to a party. In the morning, Maria sees the mess in the pool and does more rituals, causing Dan to fire her. Because Dan doesn't understand her Spanish, their fighting leads to the lab releasing all of the apes.
Jody and Dan, with the help of Jody's close friend Kendra Brooks who she had met at ballet, must quickly find a way to lift the curse and save their family. Along the way, they seek help from psychic Blaine Fulda, a complete fraud, and dream extractor Dom Kolb, who helps them understand that the solution to their problems lies in the mysterious Book of the Evil.
However, Jody and Kendra are oblivious to the book's power, wreaking havoc on the four friends. They take turns reading the book's two passages: one that unleashes demons, "gort klaatu barada nikto", and the other that frees them from possession. When "Mama" takes the children to a cliff to sacrifice them, Jody fails to lift the curse with the book, but manages to knock the evil spirit into Ja'Marcus and D'Andre's pool, where a shark devours her.
Realizing the love for her adopted children is all she needs, Jody gives the Swan Queen part to Kendra, who performs the dance in the style of a stripper. The audience applauds enthusiastically, including Jody, Dan, the children, Kendra's family, and Madea. The narrator is revealed to be Caesar, who tells the audience that humans should enjoy the time they have on Earth, saying that apes will one day to take over the world.
In a post-credits scene, Sheen wakes up, realizing that the whole movie was a dream. After Kolb tells Sheen he will be sleeping with Lohan, a car crashes into the room, killing him. The driver is Lohan; she gets out, throws Kolb the car keys and says, "You were driving".
Cast[]
- Ashley Tisdale as Jody Sanders
- Simon Rex as Dan Sanders
- Erica Ash as Kendra Brooks
- Gracie Whitton as Kathy
- Ava Kolker as Lily
- Lidia Porto as Maria
- Charlie Sheen as himself
- Lindsay Lohan as herself
- Terry Crews as Martin
- Jasmine Guy as Mrs. Brooks
- Darrell Hammond as Dr. Hall
- Heather Locklear as Barbara
- J. P. Manoux as Pierre
- Mac Miller as D'Andre
- Sarah Hyland as Mia
- Tyler Posey as David
- Bow Wow as Eric
- Katrina Bowden as Natalie
- Jerry O'Connell as Christian Grey
- Molly Shannon as Heather Darcy
- Snoop Dogg as Ja'Marcus
- Mike Tyson as himself
- Usher as Ira the Janitor
- Ben Cornish as Dom Kolb
- Kate Walsh as Mal Colb
- Katt Williams as Blaine Fulda
- Lil Duval as Brooks
- Angie Stone as Kendra's Cousin
- Lewis Thompson as Mabel "Madea" Simmons
- Audrina Patridge and Kendra Wilkinson (in deleted scenes only) as Christian Grey's slaves
- Big Ang as herself
- Shereé Whitfield as herself
- Josh Robert Thompson as Narrator (voice)/ Caesar (voice)
- Christopher Antonucci as Caesar
